The Howling
by DeepFreeze55
Summary: Elsa kept her ice powers hidden to protect those that she loved. However, no one knew that she carried another secret, one that made itself known during times of a full moon. Since the Great Thaw, her control over it has been steadily slipping, ready to be unleashed. (Suck at summaries, but it is a good read).
1. Chapter 1

Arendelle's queen paced fervently in one of the many rooms of the castle. A single candle provided some light in the otherwise darkened space.

"Come on Elsa. Get it together. Just control it."

The young queen desperately tried to assure herself as she hugged her arms to her body tightly, shoulders hunched and heeled shoes making soft thuds on the carpeted floor.

A soft breeze blew into the room, lifting the curtains apart and showing Elsa the glow of the almost full moon that hung aloft in the sky. Fearfully, she made her way over and closed the window. The moon still seemed to mock her and Elsa suddenly remembered what its presence promised this night and in the coming nights ahead. But it would be fine. She would gather what she needed while she could, and go away. Far enough away where people would be safe from-

A sudden pain ripped through the queen, forcing her to her hands and knees as she groaned piteously. Her platinum blond hair hung about her face, which was scrunched in agony. As fast as it had appeared, though, it was gone, leaving no sound but that of Elsa's labored breathing.

This ailment-this curse had plagued her for as long as she could remember, which was not long after she had isolated herself from the world in her room.

She could remember about a week after she had struck Anna and the two were separated, she had had a nightmare. A young dream-Elsa ran through an ashen grey forest. There was no color and barely any light save for a glowing moon above. A growling-inhuman and growing steadily closer followed. In the dream, she had made the mistake of turning to catch a glimpse of her pursuer before tripping. After attempting to stand and continue,a pair of yellow eyes met her gaze and all was consumed in darkness.

After that, Elsa couldn't remember much. Just that the next night before the full moon, she had been crippled by debilitating pain, as she was now. And the night of, was a complete blur. But somehow, she just assumed.

Neither she, nor her late parents before their deaths could fathom why when she told them. They themselves had only witnessed it once. But it was apparently enough to keep them away from her when they realized the first signs of her curse made themselves known in one of these episodes.

So as she suffered behind closed doors, no one was any wiser. Of course the staff knew of her ice powers, so when they discovered her room in tatters, her lying in the middle of it all, they had just believed that she had had a tantrum and lost control. Her parents never let anyone near her room when it was close. None could hear the growling and clawing, the noise as if an animal was attempting to break free.

And now that everyone knew of her powers, Elsa foolishly believed no more secrets would hinder her relationship with her people, and most of all with Anna. Her baby sister knew now of the incident that started the thirteen year long separation between them, but refused to let Elsa blame herself as she apologized profusely.

This was different though. The young queen was more afraid than ever to admit this to anyone. More so when she had fled her coronation, than when she was ambushed in her ice palace, even more than when she believed she had killed her sister twice. She had embraced her icy powers as a part of herself. But Love could not thaw this tragedy. There was no beauty in this at all. No grand palaces, nor lovable snowmen resulted from it.

Because she was a monster on the inside despite what anyone could try to tell her otherwise. This couldn't be kept secret for much longer, she was sure. It was slowly building and soon would overwhelm her. But until that time came, she would hide. Thirteen years made her perfect at it after all.

Another wave if pain, greater than the last one, evoked a cry from Arendelle's Snow Queen. Her last view was of the nearly new moon, still hanging above her before all was black.


	2. Chapter 2

It went by much too slowly for Elsa. The entire night seemed as though she was looking through another's eyes but was able to feel everything they felt; the pain, the fear, everything.

But by the grace of whatever god was out there, it finally ended as the sun peeked above the north mountain. Elsa lay there, exhausted, sore, and frustrated. She had made sure the door was locked before, encasing cracks and other openings in ice to limit whatever sound she made from the outside.

Gathering herself, the young queen melted the ice, and quietly made her way to her room. Thankfully Anna was out with Kristoff and the trolls, so disturbance from her was unlikely. Still, caution was her best interest at the moment. She must look a sight-clothes crumpled, hair tangled and wild, and almost glistening in sweat that made what little makeup she wore smug over her features. So as she entered her prison-turned-sanctuary, Elsa began making herself presentable for the day.

Not long after a knock was heard on the door along with Kai's friendly voice.

"Your majesty, I hope you are ready. You have some business to attend to today."

Of course. She always did. This wasn't new.

"I'll be right out Kai. Thank you. Has my sister returned yet by any chance?"

"Just now as a matter if fact. The young ice master is with her, along with the reindeer and snowman. Shall I schedule the usual today ma'am?"

"Yes. Please. After my work, I'd like to spend some time away from the castle if possible."

This was normal for Elsa. Since the Great Thaw, work had piled up hindering much socializing spent with her baby sister, but often tried to do so as much as possible to make up for lost time. It was difficult, tiring the young woman out as she attempted to balance the roles of ruler and family, but nevertheless, did her best.

Kai had left her to finish preparing and with a sigh, Elsa walked the halls towards her office.

Hours later, the clock signaled twelve in the afternoon. Lunch would be served soon, and she was sure that Anna, like always was waiting for her to arrive, before she began eating. Setting aside the pen, Elsa organized the mess of papers that cluttered her desk and rubbed her eyes tiredly. Ice began creeping upon the walls in her lack of concentration. Elsa quickly claimed control once more. Along with her...condition, the time near a full moon proved difficult to reign in her powers more so than usual.

An animalistic growl escaped her lips when she saw that the ice was taking too long to evaporate, and surprised, placed a hand over it. She looked down at her hands. That had rarely happened during the day before. Shock faded to worry. Elsa swallowed thickly. She remembered that love thawed. She remembered Anna and Kristoff and Olaf and Sven-her family and people. Those who accepted her without doubt when she thawed Arendelle those odd months ago. Surely, the ice receded.

A sigh of relief.

She composed herself, pacing on a tight smile that hopefully no one would notice was forced. Lunch could not end fast enough.

* * *

It was a simple affair. Like usual, Anna talked about everything she had seen outside the gates and had discussed with the trolls-Elsa swore that no matter what Anna saw and however many times she saw it, would still amaze her. Kristoff had listened quietly with a smile on his face, a tender look that gleamed in his eyes as he watched the animated girl attempt to lift an invisible weight, telling the sorry of how his mother Bulda tried to carry him in a hug once they arrived.

"-and he said, 'but that's okay, I'm gonna keep my clothes on!'. Ha! Those little guys are hilarious, huh Kristoff?"

He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, heh. That's my family for you".

"So Elsa. How did you fair while we were gone? I bet it was boring here without my natural fun-ness to keep things going, am I rig-Elsa, you okay?" Anna turned her attention to her sister, but was surprised to see the normally attentive queen with a hazy look in her eyes as she stared into space and her knuckles were white gripping the wooden table. Now, Anna wouldn't say she was overly worried, but she was concerned. Maybe the stress of queen was finally taking is toll.

No answer. So she tried a little louder.

"Hey Elsa!"

That snapped her awake. She blinked her eyes as if coming from a dream. Seeing them in front of her like it was for the first time, she uneasily smiled.

"Yes Anna. What is it?"

"You okay? You were spaced out for a while there. I guess being queen can't be easy with all that work huh?"

"Oh...yeah-of course..it's work." She stuttered her words uneasily trying to hide the real reason why her attention was elsewhere. Her mind had clouded over suddenly and pain raced quickly as if fire licked her skin. It was too crowded here, too warm-a heat that even her powers as the Snow Queen could not cool. She had to leave. Now. She abruptly stood, startling the company in the room.

"I'll see you all another time. I have...some things that I need to take care of." Voice calm and controlled. No suspicion. Or so she thought.

"Oh come on Elsa. You've been working yourself to the bone. Eat something at least. You haven't even touched your plate." It was true. She had only taken several meager bites of her salmon. But that didn't matter. She had to go. No one could know.

"It's fine. I just need to leave. It's important but you guys can finish without me. Don't expect me at dinner either. I-I...just can't...right now."

The entire time, Elsa hadn't faced either of her friends, opting to hold herself tight while continuing to walk towards the great doors. It was getting harder to speak, to think, to breathe.

She ran. Even while Anna's angry voice called back for her. She made it to her room just before knocking a chair on it side. The pain was getting worse. Elsa lay there on the floor praying that it would soon end before anyone found her.


	3. Chapter 3

The Howling 3

Not long after Elsa left the dining room, a miffed Anna began to rant to her significant other, who sat there quietly, though uncomfortably as she continued her tirade.

"Can you believe this! Why is she always running away? I thought we were past this by now. It's been six months-six freaking months Kristoff-but she still feels like she needs to hide things from me." Her shoulders slumped and a lump formed in her throat, "I thought things would be different."

By this time, Kristoff had walked over to the distressed red head and placed a comforting arm around her. "Calm down feisty pants. I think you might be taking this whole thing a little to personally for a girl who's always so optimistic. A few months doesn't fix years of damage. Things like this will take time. Just give _Elsa_ some time. She'll come around."

Ah Kristoff. The voice of reason to her boisterous personality. It was creepy yet sweet in a way how he knew just what to say to make her feel better. A few deep breaths. Then, "I know. You're right. But still, I feel like there's something she's not telling me that's important. She does this every month, and I just thought that maybe it was guilt for what she had done to Arendelle-that maybe she had nightmares that happen every now and then….I just….don't want her to shut me out like before."

"I know I'm right. Elsa's your sister, and from what I see, the two of you are closer than any other siblings I've ever seen. Whatever's going on with her, she'll tell us eventually. Just be patient."

'Be patient'. She had spent over half of her life being patient, craving Elsa's acknowledgment of her existence. The selfish part of her wanted to kick and scream and say that she'd had enough of waiting to find out what went on in her sister's life. The more rational side however, told her to let Elsa have her space and endure. She placed her hands up in a sign of surrender.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate it when you make sense?"

"Just about every other day," he shrugged. Kristoff came in for a long embrace that was immediately returned. After a few moments, he spoke. "Hey. If you're that worried about Elsa, why not just show her."

Anna was confused. That's all she'd been doing for the past couple of months to make up for lost time. She raised an eyebrow and opened her mouth to come back with a sharp retort but was cut of by the blond man placing a finger on her lips. "Just hear me out. You spend time together, yeah. You do what you can to make her feel better after the Great Freeze, sure. But maybe she just needs to feel as though she's accepted by everyone for who she is, not just her family. I bet the whole reason is because she's just stressed out about what others in the kingdom and the other kingdoms think about her after all that's happened."

"Sooo…. What do you suggest, oh wise master ice harvester and deliverer."

Kristoff rolled her eyes at Anna's sarcasm, even though that was one of the things he loved about her.

"Well, I was gonna say a party. You know to celebrate her rule over Arendelle these last few months without another eternal winter or anything. We can show Elsa that should she need anything, we're always here, and depending on who attends, that she is accepted widely despite what happened. What do you think?"

He was nervous; social gatherings were not his thing, and though he tried his best for Anna's sake, still had trouble being with those outside the royal family circle. Still, Kristoff put his own needs aside to see Anna happy, and to since his affection for her also spread to Elsa for being her sister, to see either of them in pain like now was like a knife being driven into his heart.

But he didn't need to worry much, because he was already being choked in another strong hug by the princess. Her head was buried into his chest. "Kristoff…that's a great idea. Oh! And I know the perfect time to; on the full moon. There'll be dancing, for food we'll have soup, roast and ice cream, we can invite people from all over to show that Arendelle is open to everyone welcome-except Weasletown and the Southern Isles of course and-"

Kristoff stared. She had gone from depressed and lonely to hyperactive in a complete three-sixty. This girl would be the death of him with her crazy mood swings. He stopped her before she got too carried away.

"Hold on Feisty Pants. You said the night of the full moon, and that's like three days away. Do you think you'll be able to get a party ready by then. Elsa's too smart to be fooled by something as big as this."

"Oh…well, you're right. Then how about it's just a smaller scale celebration with people in the kingdom. The gates aren't closed anymore so it'll be easier to get everyone to chip in and…..BAM! surprise! Elsa will see that's she's loved by her people, she'll get out of her funk, and things can go back to the way they were. Simple as that."

"Well, I wouldn't say simple.."

"Kristoff, Kristoff, Kristoff. Have a little faith. It's me remember. I know parties-other than the fact that the last one we had was Elsa's coronation…but yeah it'll be a piece of cake. I have you with me on this…don't I?

That plea was all it took. "Yea. You do."

* * *

Elsa curled in on herself, gasping as painful spasms wracked her frame. It was hard to hold in the screams that she was sure could be heard all through Arendelle. Before succumbing completely, Elsa had made sure to ice over the cracks in the doors as she had done the nights before and barricaded herself inside. This was becoming too frequent, the pain too acute, which only meant that the time to change was nearing a close. There was little time left for her to escape before she hurt someone.

Her bones and muscles contorted grossly, the feeling akin to white hot fire in her veins. Her mouth was open but no sound came and Elsa wondered when it all would end.

Soon enough it had, the sudden relief enough to draw frozen tears from the Snow Queen that shattered upon hitting the ground.

_Why me? Why me? Why?_ This question was chanted over again in her head. She stayed like this for what could have been a few minutes. Hell, it could have been a few hours, but that no longer mattered as she slipped into unconsciousness. The ice that once covered the room in her moment of weakness slowly began to melt. It left no evidence at what had just recently occurred, save for the motionless girl in the room's center. Outside the window overlooking the kingdom, the sun began to set behind the mountains towards the north. A rainbow of colors in the sky; rather ironic to such a tragic story. For when the light recedes, the darkness takes hold.

* * *

**I want to thank you all that have followed and favorited this story. I don't own Frozen. Should have put that up at the top, but...oh well. I wish I did. A girl can always dream. From here, the story starts to pick up a bit, but I don't want this story to be too fast. I'm trying to build suspense. Thank you again. Until next time**


	4. Chapter 4

"Where is she?"

"How should I know? She's **your** sister. And this is **your** castle. I assume you know all of her hiding spots better than I do."

Anna and Kristoff had been attempting to locate the missing queen for the better part of an hour, and so far were having no luck. When she had fled from the dining room, a trail of ice was left in her wake, an obvious indicator that there was something that was bothering her sister. They just wanted to check if she was alright. Of course there was no guarantee that a stubborn person like Elsa would ever admit that there was something wrong, but there was no harm in trying.

"Ugh…never mind. C'mon. She's here somewhere-wait. Does it seem colder to you, or is that just me?"

"No. You're right. I feel it too."

"Where there's cold, there's Elsa." The two of them continued down a long corridor of the east wing. Though there was no ice visible, the air was surely and steadily decreasing in temperature, enough so that puffs of air were seen in front of the couple's faces.

They stopped in front of a pair of mahogany doors that lead into her sister's office. Anna leaned forward and pressed her ear to the cold surface. No sound. This surely was where the cold was originating from, but was Elsa really in there? She could be signing papers and had fallen asleep-something that happened too often for Anna not to be worried for her sister's health; she worked herself to the bone- but that didn't explain why it felt as though it was near winter in the room.

With Kristoff just behind her, Anna pushed the doors opened smoothly; not even they broke the deafening silence. She looked around in an attempt to find her reclusive older sister, but there wasn't any sight of her…

A sudden gasp from Kristoff jolted her, "Anna, what is that?" He pointed to a shadowy figure slumped on the ground. Without thinking, the princess raced forward and choked back a sob that escaped her throat as the fading light from the window illuminated the pale face of her sister. Elsa's eyes were closed. Her brows were furrowed slightly though and her mouth was pressed in a thin line that, even though she was unconscious, showed her pain.

"Elsa!" Anna shrieked. She got down on her knees and cradled her sister's head, the rest of her body limp like a ragdoll. "Oh…no. Elsa. Elsa. Kristoff, run to get a healer now! Go!" she added for emphasis, for the young ice harvester was stuck almost like a deer in headlights. He turned at the second command racing through the hallway and leaving the two women alone.

It felt like an eternity that Kristoff had returned with the royal physician. Anna sat, rocking her body while holding Elsa's close and whispering nothings to her, 'It will be all right', 'Hang in there'. With some difficulty caused by the red head's refusal to leave her sister, they had managed to get the queen to her bed room, laying her still form on the mattress. She was reluctant, but Anna left the man alone in order to complete his job. He turned to her with a sweet grin, promising to do everything in his power to help the queen recover. Anna had no choice but to believe him. So here she was outside her sister's room, not allowed to come in but wishing to know what was going on, on the other side. It was too much like those thirteen years of separation, and it was driving the princess nuts.

In reality, what was half an hour, but felt like a life time, the door finally opened, revealing the physician. He caught the eyes of the girl and the ice harvester, casting a smile. A smile…that meant good news, right? He walked over.

"How is she?" Kristoff questioned. Anna was unsure of her voice at the moment.

"She's fine aside from a light bump on the head-something that I think that may have been caused when she fell on the desk or perhaps a chair in her office. Nothing some rest won't fix. She's sleeping now with a bit of medicine I've given her, but feel free to go in-"

That was all the young princess needed to hear before storming past the poor man, almost knocking him over. Kristoff apologized, helping the man to his feet, before leaving to join his girlfriend.

* * *

It was dark…so dark. There was no light or sound. All that surrounded the queen was black nothingness that smothered her senses as she tried to reach out for something-**anything**- familiar. It was like she was floating in oblivion. Suddenly, a howl broke to her left, and she turned, but there was nothing there. No one. She knew she should be afraid, but didn't know of what. Panic rose in her chest. Another howl to her right, and the behind her, and in front of her, making a disturbing cacophony of high pitched wails. Something told Elsa to look up, and she did, to be face to face with a bright, glowing moon. It was huge. It seemed to call to her, calming the once rampant panic that flared in her body. Elsa reached a pale hand forward, as if wanting to touch it. But then, another wail, closer and much louder than the rest, followed by a growl…and then…nothing.

Elsa's body jumped awake as she sat ramrod straight. Her eyes darted frantically, her heart a wild drum in her chest. Ice gathered at her finger tips and was slowly spreading. Nothing was registering other than the fact that what she was on was soft, plushy, and the light of the room was much brighter than what she had remembered in her office. The queen placed a hand to her forehead, trying to gather herself.

A raucous snore almost startled the life out of her. Her blue eyes flicked to see her sister, sleeping on the side of… her bed? (This must be her room then.) Anna's hair was almost wild, half in and half out of her twin braids. There was drool on the side of her mouth and another snore shook her, eliciting a slight chuckle from Elsa. She put two and two together. Anna must have found her and brought her back to her room and was waiting for her to wake up. Judging by the second, empty chair, Kristoff had been here as well. Probably to keep her in line for whoever was checking up on her. Elsa felt a rush of affection towards her baby sister and her eyes welled with tears. Anna-this sweet and caring girl- did everything for her. She was the reason Elsa was still here, that she had a reason to live and not succumb to the monster inside. But what had she done? She froze her twice, killing her for a period the second time, locked her out for thirteen years, and was still keeping a huge secret from her, even though the two of them had made a solemn promise to never do so again. No matter how much Elsa tried to convince herself that it was for Anna's safety, that still didn't mean the ends were justified by the means.

Her breath hitched and she ran a cool hand over Anna's reddish tresses, causing the girl to hum and snuggle closer to the source. "Elsa…get better…soon." She mumbled.

Through her tears, Elsa managed a shaky smile, "Don't worry about me Anna," she whispered, "I'll be fine…It's you I'm more worried about. I love you." Elsa was still stroking her hair.

Still in the grips of sleep, "I...love you…too."

* * *

**I know it's manly focusing on Anna and Kristoff right now, but don't worry. Chapter 5 will be majority about Elsa. There will be some Anna. But mainly Elsa. It's almost the full moon so things will be getting interesting. Read and review. Ta ta duckies.**


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